Friday, May 21, 2010
What is the worst thing you can do?
With all of your mental disabilities, with all of your problems...you have children that you love very much and you know that no matter where you go, you will still have the help that you need for yourself to get better. But the number one question is..."What is the worst thing you can do?" I have this predicament that includes staying where my kids are exposed to me and my crazy inabilities to stay sane, and even though one of these children are starting to get psychotic ideations and mental problems, she needs me more now than ever. And another one that falls apart every time i threaten to leave, she is afraid that i will leave and and never come back. So what is the best/worst thing you can do in a case like this?
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guilt? shame? failure? thoughts of pending doom? I think of running away, and yet when I try, I get put in the psych ward for four days. Tell me rich, how am I suppose to be a mother when they (the world) has me put as an emotionally unstable woman? I'm a mother. Do I belong in this house? With four kids? My mind goes in all directions but the direction it is suppose to go. I'm scared, I'm tired...I'm useless...worthless...
like nobody cares about me. this would be considered self pity, and i know that there are those out there (like joyce myers) that will say that "yes, you can help it" but that is for those who can help it. like if you were to flip someone off...using the middle finger...yes you can help it, but when you have a mental illness...no, you cant help it...and it's not even your fault for the reasons why you do what you do...so you tell me...
again..."What is the worst thing you can do?"
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