Friday, May 21, 2010
What is the worst thing you can do?
With all of your mental disabilities, with all of your problems...you have children that you love very much and you know that no matter where you go, you will still have the help that you need for yourself to get better. But the number one question is..."What is the worst thing you can do?" I have this predicament that includes staying where my kids are exposed to me and my crazy inabilities to stay sane, and even though one of these children are starting to get psychotic ideations and mental problems, she needs me more now than ever. And another one that falls apart every time i threaten to leave, she is afraid that i will leave and and never come back. So what is the best/worst thing you can do in a case like this?
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Bipolar disorder
Overview
Bipolar disorder involves periods of excitability (mania) alternating with periods of depression. The "mood swings" between mania and depression can be very abrupt.
Symptoms
The manic phase may last from days to months and can include the following symptoms:
•Agitation or irritation
•Elevated mood
◦Hyperactivity
◦Increased energy
◦Lack of self-control
◦Racing thoughts
•Inflated self-esteem (delusions of grandeur, false beliefs in special abilities)
•Little need for sleep
•Over-involvement in activities
•Poor temper control
•Reckless behavior
◦Binge eating, drinking, and/or drug use
◦Impaired judgment
◦Sexual promiscuity
◦Spending sprees
•Tendency to be easily distracted
These symptoms of mania are seen with bipolar disorder I. In people with bipolar disorder II, hypomanic episodes involve similar symptoms that are less intense.
WHICH I IN FACT FIT THIS DESCRIPTION: I HAVE BIPOLAR II
The depressed phase of both types of bipolar disorder involves very serious symptoms of major depression:
•Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
•Eating disturbances
◦Loss of appetite and weight loss
◦Overeating and weight gain
•Fatigue or listlessness
•Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness and/or guilt
•Loss of self-esteem
•Persistent sadness
•Persistent thoughts of death
•Sleep disturbances
◦Excessive sleepiness
◦Inability to sleep
•Suicidal thoughts
•Withdrawal from activities that were once enjoyed
•Withdrawal from friends
There is a high risk of suicide with bipolar disorder. While in either phase, patients may abuse alcohol or other substances, which can worsen the symptoms.
Sometimes there is an overlap between the two phases. Manic and depressive symptoms may occur simultaneously or in quick succession in what is called a mixed state.
Treatment
For the manic phase of bipolar disorder, antipsychotic medications, lithium, and mood stabilizers are typically used. For the depressive phase, antidepressants are sometimes used, with or without the manic phase treatment.
There is very little long-term evidence suggesting that any medication has great success in the maintenance phase. However, in studies that followed patients for 2 years, lithium and some antipsychotics were found to be moderately successful.
Antipsychotic drugs can help a person who has lost touch with reality. Anti-anxiety drugs, such as benzodiazepines, may also help. The patient may need to stay in a hospital until his or her mood has stabilized and symptoms are under control.
Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) may be used to treat bipolar disorder. ECT is a psychiatric treatment that uses an electrical current to cause a brief seizure of the central nervous system while the patient is under anesthesia. Studies have repeatedly found that ECT is the most effective treatment for depression that is not relieved with medications.
Getting enough sleep helps keep a stable mood in some patients. Psychotherapy may be a useful option during the depressive phase. Joining a support group may be particularly helpful for bipolar disorder patients and their loved ones.
Causes
Bipolar disorder affects men and women equally. It usually appears between ages 15 - 25. The exact cause is unknown, but it occurs more often in relatives of people with bipolar disorder.
Bipolar disorder results from disturbances in the areas of the brain that regulate mood.
There are two primary types of bipolar disorder. People with bipolar disorder I have had at least one fully manic episode with periods of major depression. In the past, bipolar disorder I was called manic depression.
People with bipolar disorder II seldom experience full-fledged mania. Instead they experience periods of hypomania (elevated levels of energy and impulsiveness that are not as extreme as the symptoms of mania). These hypomanic periods alternate with episodes of major depression.
A mild form of bipolar disorder called cyclothymia involves periods of hypomania and mild depression, with less severe mood swings. People with bipolar disorder II or cyclothymia may be misdiagnosed as having depression alone.
Tests & diagnosis
A diagnosis of bipolar disorder involves consideration of many factors. The health care provider may do some or all of the following:
•Ask about your family medical history, particularly whether anyone has or had bipolar disorder
•Ask about your recent mood swings and for how long you've experienced them
•Observe your behavior and mood
•Perform a thorough examination to identify or rule out physical causes for the symptoms
•Request laboratory tests to check for thyroid problems or drug levels
•Speak with your family members to discuss their observations about your behavior
•Take a medical history, including any medical problems you have and any medications you take
Note: Use of recreational drugs may be responsible for some symptoms, though this does not rule out bipolar affective disorder. Drug abuse may itself be a symptom of bipolar disorder.
Prognosis
Mood-stabilizing medication can help control the symptoms of bipolar disorder. However, patients often need help and support to take medicine properly and to ensure that any episodes of mania and depression are treated as early as possible.
Some people stop taking the medication as soon as they feel better or because they want to experience the productivity and creativity associated with mania. Although these early manic states may feel good, discontinuing medication may have very negative consequences.
Suicide is a very real risk during both mania and depression. Suicidal thoughts, ideas, and gestures in people with bipolar affective disorder require immediate emergency attention.
Complications
Stopping or improperly taking medication can cause your symptoms to come back, and lead to the following complications:
•Alcohol and/or drug abuse as a strategy to "self-medicate"
•Personal relationships, work, and finances suffer
•Suicidal thoughts and behaviors
This illness is challenging to treat. Patients and their friends and family must be aware of the risks of neglecting to treat bipolar disorder.
When to contact a doctor
Call your health provider or an emergency number right way if:
•You are having thoughts of death or suicide
•You are experiencing severe symptoms of depression or mania
•You have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and your symptoms have returned or you are having any new symptoms
Bipolar disorder involves periods of excitability (mania) alternating with periods of depression. The "mood swings" between mania and depression can be very abrupt.
Symptoms
The manic phase may last from days to months and can include the following symptoms:
•Agitation or irritation
•Elevated mood
◦Hyperactivity
◦Increased energy
◦Lack of self-control
◦Racing thoughts
•Inflated self-esteem (delusions of grandeur, false beliefs in special abilities)
•Little need for sleep
•Over-involvement in activities
•Poor temper control
•Reckless behavior
◦Binge eating, drinking, and/or drug use
◦Impaired judgment
◦Sexual promiscuity
◦Spending sprees
•Tendency to be easily distracted
These symptoms of mania are seen with bipolar disorder I. In people with bipolar disorder II, hypomanic episodes involve similar symptoms that are less intense.
WHICH I IN FACT FIT THIS DESCRIPTION: I HAVE BIPOLAR II
The depressed phase of both types of bipolar disorder involves very serious symptoms of major depression:
•Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
•Eating disturbances
◦Loss of appetite and weight loss
◦Overeating and weight gain
•Fatigue or listlessness
•Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness and/or guilt
•Loss of self-esteem
•Persistent sadness
•Persistent thoughts of death
•Sleep disturbances
◦Excessive sleepiness
◦Inability to sleep
•Suicidal thoughts
•Withdrawal from activities that were once enjoyed
•Withdrawal from friends
There is a high risk of suicide with bipolar disorder. While in either phase, patients may abuse alcohol or other substances, which can worsen the symptoms.
Sometimes there is an overlap between the two phases. Manic and depressive symptoms may occur simultaneously or in quick succession in what is called a mixed state.
Treatment
For the manic phase of bipolar disorder, antipsychotic medications, lithium, and mood stabilizers are typically used. For the depressive phase, antidepressants are sometimes used, with or without the manic phase treatment.
There is very little long-term evidence suggesting that any medication has great success in the maintenance phase. However, in studies that followed patients for 2 years, lithium and some antipsychotics were found to be moderately successful.
Antipsychotic drugs can help a person who has lost touch with reality. Anti-anxiety drugs, such as benzodiazepines, may also help. The patient may need to stay in a hospital until his or her mood has stabilized and symptoms are under control.
Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) may be used to treat bipolar disorder. ECT is a psychiatric treatment that uses an electrical current to cause a brief seizure of the central nervous system while the patient is under anesthesia. Studies have repeatedly found that ECT is the most effective treatment for depression that is not relieved with medications.
Getting enough sleep helps keep a stable mood in some patients. Psychotherapy may be a useful option during the depressive phase. Joining a support group may be particularly helpful for bipolar disorder patients and their loved ones.
Causes
Bipolar disorder affects men and women equally. It usually appears between ages 15 - 25. The exact cause is unknown, but it occurs more often in relatives of people with bipolar disorder.
Bipolar disorder results from disturbances in the areas of the brain that regulate mood.
There are two primary types of bipolar disorder. People with bipolar disorder I have had at least one fully manic episode with periods of major depression. In the past, bipolar disorder I was called manic depression.
People with bipolar disorder II seldom experience full-fledged mania. Instead they experience periods of hypomania (elevated levels of energy and impulsiveness that are not as extreme as the symptoms of mania). These hypomanic periods alternate with episodes of major depression.
A mild form of bipolar disorder called cyclothymia involves periods of hypomania and mild depression, with less severe mood swings. People with bipolar disorder II or cyclothymia may be misdiagnosed as having depression alone.
Tests & diagnosis
A diagnosis of bipolar disorder involves consideration of many factors. The health care provider may do some or all of the following:
•Ask about your family medical history, particularly whether anyone has or had bipolar disorder
•Ask about your recent mood swings and for how long you've experienced them
•Observe your behavior and mood
•Perform a thorough examination to identify or rule out physical causes for the symptoms
•Request laboratory tests to check for thyroid problems or drug levels
•Speak with your family members to discuss their observations about your behavior
•Take a medical history, including any medical problems you have and any medications you take
Note: Use of recreational drugs may be responsible for some symptoms, though this does not rule out bipolar affective disorder. Drug abuse may itself be a symptom of bipolar disorder.
Prognosis
Mood-stabilizing medication can help control the symptoms of bipolar disorder. However, patients often need help and support to take medicine properly and to ensure that any episodes of mania and depression are treated as early as possible.
Some people stop taking the medication as soon as they feel better or because they want to experience the productivity and creativity associated with mania. Although these early manic states may feel good, discontinuing medication may have very negative consequences.
Suicide is a very real risk during both mania and depression. Suicidal thoughts, ideas, and gestures in people with bipolar affective disorder require immediate emergency attention.
Complications
Stopping or improperly taking medication can cause your symptoms to come back, and lead to the following complications:
•Alcohol and/or drug abuse as a strategy to "self-medicate"
•Personal relationships, work, and finances suffer
•Suicidal thoughts and behaviors
This illness is challenging to treat. Patients and their friends and family must be aware of the risks of neglecting to treat bipolar disorder.
When to contact a doctor
Call your health provider or an emergency number right way if:
•You are having thoughts of death or suicide
•You are experiencing severe symptoms of depression or mania
•You have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and your symptoms have returned or you are having any new symptoms
Dependent Personality Disorder
Overview
Dependent personality disorder is a long-term (chronic) condition in which people depend too much on others to meet their emotional and physical needs.
Symptoms
People with this disorder do not trust their own ability to make decisions. They may be devastated by separation and loss. They may go to great lengths, even suffering abuse, to stay in a relationship.
Treatment
There is no specific treatment for this disorder. Psychotherapy may be useful in gradually helping the person make more independent choices in life. Medication may also be helpful in treating any other underlying conditions.
Causes
Dependent personality disorder usually begins in childhood. However, the cause of this disorder is unknown. It is one of the most common personality disorders, and is equally common in men and women.
Tests & diagnosis
A person with dependent personality disorder may:
https://health.google.com/health/ref/Dependent+personality+disorder
•Have difficulty making decisions without reassurance from others
•Have problems expressing disagreements with others
•Avoid personal responsibility
•Avoid being alone
•Feel devastated or helpless when relationships end
•Be unable to meet ordinary demands of life
•Become preoccupied with fears of being abandoned
•Be easily hurt by criticism or disapproval
•Be extremely passive in relations with other people
Prognosis
Improvements are usually seen only with long-term therapy.
Complications
•Depression
•Alcohol or drug abuse
•May be susceptible to physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
When to contact a doctor
Call for an appointment with your health care provider or a mental health professional if you or your adolescent has symptoms of dependent personality disorder.
Dependent personality disorder is a long-term (chronic) condition in which people depend too much on others to meet their emotional and physical needs.
Symptoms
People with this disorder do not trust their own ability to make decisions. They may be devastated by separation and loss. They may go to great lengths, even suffering abuse, to stay in a relationship.
Treatment
There is no specific treatment for this disorder. Psychotherapy may be useful in gradually helping the person make more independent choices in life. Medication may also be helpful in treating any other underlying conditions.
Causes
Dependent personality disorder usually begins in childhood. However, the cause of this disorder is unknown. It is one of the most common personality disorders, and is equally common in men and women.
Tests & diagnosis
A person with dependent personality disorder may:
https://health.google.com/health/ref/Dependent+personality+disorder
•Have difficulty making decisions without reassurance from others
•Have problems expressing disagreements with others
•Avoid personal responsibility
•Avoid being alone
•Feel devastated or helpless when relationships end
•Be unable to meet ordinary demands of life
•Become preoccupied with fears of being abandoned
•Be easily hurt by criticism or disapproval
•Be extremely passive in relations with other people
Prognosis
Improvements are usually seen only with long-term therapy.
Complications
•Depression
•Alcohol or drug abuse
•May be susceptible to physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
When to contact a doctor
Call for an appointment with your health care provider or a mental health professional if you or your adolescent has symptoms of dependent personality disorder.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
What happens when everything that could possibly go wrong, go wrong? A fucked up chick! That's what! I acted like a total dick, for the lack of a better term! But none to say the least, was I nice.
I was a total ass!No one should have gone through what I had made them go through. I was doing nothing but throwing
shit, punching walls, and making my hand look like hamburger meat. I was cussing and shooting all kinds of names at everyone and everything. I'm not proud in the least. I know at least one of my kids heard what it was that I was saying. I feel bad, but there is nothing I can do about it now.
I sometimes feel as if no one is there for me, no one there for me to talk to. I have friends, I have family...I have my love. But sometimes it's just not enough. I have a feeling of loneliness. A feeling that I am unwanted. Most people do not understand my problems, my issues, my fears. It's hard for me to live from day to day, trying my hardest to live a normal life.
My children mean the world to me. They are my pride and joy. I try not to say anything about anyone in front of my kids. I do not want them to pick up on my sorry issues. I may be a bitch to the world, but I want to protect my children from the world.Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Borderline personality disorder - Yahoo! Health
Borderline personality disorder - Yahoo! Health:
"Borderline personality disorder By Jeannette Curtis Related Articles
*Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a complex mental health condition that causes emotional instability, relationship problems, a low sense of self-worth, and fear of abandonment.
SINCE CHILDHOOD
*Other common symptoms include problems managing anger and recurring self-destructive or suicidal behaviors.
PUNCHING INANIMATE OBJECTS AND SCREAMING TO CONTROL THE STRESS
*The negative or destructive behaviors of borderline personality disorder are intense.
SOME DAYS ARE WORSE THAN OTHERS
*These behaviors occur over a long period of time, often in combination with other disorders such as depression, anxiety, or other mental health problems.
BIPOLAR II AND DEPENDENT PERSONALITY DISORDER
*People with this disorder often have problems with substance abuse, gambling, or eating disorders.
ALCOHOL ABUSE
*Although there is no cure for borderline personality disorder, symptoms are often treated with counseling and medicines such as antidepressants or mood stabilizers.
THERAPY AND MEDICATION
*Most people who are treated for borderline personality disorder do get better over time. However, treatment can be difficult, and recovery can take years."
...
Symptoms
A person with borderline personality disorder often has unstable relationships, low self-esteem, and problems with impulsive behavior, all of which begin by early adulthood.
A common feature of this disorder is fear of being left alone (abandoned), even if the threat of being abandoned is not real. This fear may lead to frantic attempts to hold on to those around you and may cause you to become too dependent on others. Sometimes you may react to the fear of being abandoned by rejecting others first before they can reject you. This erratic behavior can lead to troubled relationships in every area of your life.
People who are diagnosed with borderline personality disorder have at least five of the following symptoms. They may:
■Make frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
__________LIKE WHAT?__________
■Have a pattern of difficult relationships caused by alternating between extremes of intense admiration and hatred of others.
■Have an unstable self-image or be unsure of his or her own identity.
__I AM NOTHING BUT A WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP! LIVE WITH IT__
■Act impulsively in ways that are self-damaging, such as extravagant spending, frequent and unprotected sex with many partners, substance abuse, binge eating, or reckless driving.
____DON'T WORRY, THE URGE IS JUST NOT THERE___
■Have recurring suicidal thoughts, make repeated suicide attempts, or cause self-injury through mutilation, such as cutting or burning himself or herself.
HITTING INANIMATE OBJECTS AND ALWAYS WANTING TO JUMP IN FRONT OF TRAFFFIC!
■Have frequent emotional overreactions or intense mood swings, including feeling depressed, irritable, or anxious. These mood swings usually only last a few hours at a time. In rare cases, they may last a day or two.
__EVERY DAY? MAYBE. CAN'T SIT STILL FOR THE MOST PART.__
■Have long-term feelings of emptiness.
______AND LONELY-NESS____
■Have inappropriate, fierce anger or problems controlling anger. The person may often display temper tantrums or get into physical fights.
_____IMAGINE A GROWN WOMAN THROWING HERSELF ON THE FLOOR__ :-/
■Have temporary episodes of feeling suspicious of others without reason (paranoia) or losing a sense of reality.
___I HAVE REASONS___
Not everyone who has five or more of these symptoms is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. For a person to be diagnosed with any personality disorder, the symptoms must be severe and must go on long enough to cause significant emotional distress or problems functioning in relationships or at work.
You may have temporary episodes of psychosis (paranoia and a loss of a sense of reality) with borderline personality disorder, especially when you are going through a personal crisis. This psychosis usually does not last very long. But if it continues, your doctor may consider another condition, such as schizophrenia.
Symptoms of borderline personality disorder are not caused by another medical condition or by medicines, and they are not a result of long-term substance abuse problems. Borderline personality disorder may be confused with other conditions with similar symptoms, such as other personality disorders, including antisocial personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder.
Suicidal behavior
Suicidal behavior is common in people with borderline personality disorder, with close to 10% of those with the disorder completing suicide.6 Your risk of suicidal thoughts or attempts increases if you have depression along with borderline personality disorder.7 But you can reduce your risk for suicide by treating symptoms of both conditions.
Other conditions that commonly occur with borderline personality disorder
Other mental health conditions commonly occur with borderline personality disorder and need treatment also. These additional conditions can make it difficult to distinguish borderline personality and can complicate treatment. Conditions that frequently occur with borderline personality disorder include:3, 4
■Depression or other mood disorders (for example, dysthymic disorder).
■Eating disorders, especially bulimia nervosa.
■Substance abuse problems.
■Bipolar disorder, which is depression with episodes of mania.
■Panic attacks or panic disorder.
■Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
Other personality disorders can occur in addition to borderline personality disorder. A few of these conditions include:
■Histrionic personality disorder, which causes excessive emotional reactions, attention-seeking behavior, and dramatic behavior.
■Avoidant personality disorder, which causes a person to avoid interaction with other people, especially if the interaction involves a new activity that may prove embarrassing.
■Antisocial personality disorder, a condition that involves a pattern of disregard for or violation of the rights of others.
"Borderline personality disorder By Jeannette Curtis Related Articles
*Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a complex mental health condition that causes emotional instability, relationship problems, a low sense of self-worth, and fear of abandonment.
SINCE CHILDHOOD
*Other common symptoms include problems managing anger and recurring self-destructive or suicidal behaviors.
PUNCHING INANIMATE OBJECTS AND SCREAMING TO CONTROL THE STRESS
*The negative or destructive behaviors of borderline personality disorder are intense.
SOME DAYS ARE WORSE THAN OTHERS
*These behaviors occur over a long period of time, often in combination with other disorders such as depression, anxiety, or other mental health problems.
BIPOLAR II AND DEPENDENT PERSONALITY DISORDER
*People with this disorder often have problems with substance abuse, gambling, or eating disorders.
ALCOHOL ABUSE
*Although there is no cure for borderline personality disorder, symptoms are often treated with counseling and medicines such as antidepressants or mood stabilizers.
THERAPY AND MEDICATION
*Most people who are treated for borderline personality disorder do get better over time. However, treatment can be difficult, and recovery can take years."
...
Symptoms
A person with borderline personality disorder often has unstable relationships, low self-esteem, and problems with impulsive behavior, all of which begin by early adulthood.
A common feature of this disorder is fear of being left alone (abandoned), even if the threat of being abandoned is not real. This fear may lead to frantic attempts to hold on to those around you and may cause you to become too dependent on others. Sometimes you may react to the fear of being abandoned by rejecting others first before they can reject you. This erratic behavior can lead to troubled relationships in every area of your life.
People who are diagnosed with borderline personality disorder have at least five of the following symptoms. They may:
■Make frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
__________LIKE WHAT?__________
■Have a pattern of difficult relationships caused by alternating between extremes of intense admiration and hatred of others.
■Have an unstable self-image or be unsure of his or her own identity.
__I AM NOTHING BUT A WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP! LIVE WITH IT__
■Act impulsively in ways that are self-damaging, such as extravagant spending, frequent and unprotected sex with many partners, substance abuse, binge eating, or reckless driving.
____DON'T WORRY, THE URGE IS JUST NOT THERE___
■Have recurring suicidal thoughts, make repeated suicide attempts, or cause self-injury through mutilation, such as cutting or burning himself or herself.
HITTING INANIMATE OBJECTS AND ALWAYS WANTING TO JUMP IN FRONT OF TRAFFFIC!
■Have frequent emotional overreactions or intense mood swings, including feeling depressed, irritable, or anxious. These mood swings usually only last a few hours at a time. In rare cases, they may last a day or two.
__EVERY DAY? MAYBE. CAN'T SIT STILL FOR THE MOST PART.__
■Have long-term feelings of emptiness.
______AND LONELY-NESS____
■Have inappropriate, fierce anger or problems controlling anger. The person may often display temper tantrums or get into physical fights.
_____IMAGINE A GROWN WOMAN THROWING HERSELF ON THE FLOOR__ :-/
■Have temporary episodes of feeling suspicious of others without reason (paranoia) or losing a sense of reality.
___I HAVE REASONS___
Not everyone who has five or more of these symptoms is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. For a person to be diagnosed with any personality disorder, the symptoms must be severe and must go on long enough to cause significant emotional distress or problems functioning in relationships or at work.
You may have temporary episodes of psychosis (paranoia and a loss of a sense of reality) with borderline personality disorder, especially when you are going through a personal crisis. This psychosis usually does not last very long. But if it continues, your doctor may consider another condition, such as schizophrenia.
Symptoms of borderline personality disorder are not caused by another medical condition or by medicines, and they are not a result of long-term substance abuse problems. Borderline personality disorder may be confused with other conditions with similar symptoms, such as other personality disorders, including antisocial personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder.
Suicidal behavior
Suicidal behavior is common in people with borderline personality disorder, with close to 10% of those with the disorder completing suicide.6 Your risk of suicidal thoughts or attempts increases if you have depression along with borderline personality disorder.7 But you can reduce your risk for suicide by treating symptoms of both conditions.
Other conditions that commonly occur with borderline personality disorder
Other mental health conditions commonly occur with borderline personality disorder and need treatment also. These additional conditions can make it difficult to distinguish borderline personality and can complicate treatment. Conditions that frequently occur with borderline personality disorder include:3, 4
■Depression or other mood disorders (for example, dysthymic disorder).
■Eating disorders, especially bulimia nervosa.
■Substance abuse problems.
■Bipolar disorder, which is depression with episodes of mania.
■Panic attacks or panic disorder.
■Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
Other personality disorders can occur in addition to borderline personality disorder. A few of these conditions include:
■Histrionic personality disorder, which causes excessive emotional reactions, attention-seeking behavior, and dramatic behavior.
■Avoidant personality disorder, which causes a person to avoid interaction with other people, especially if the interaction involves a new activity that may prove embarrassing.
■Antisocial personality disorder, a condition that involves a pattern of disregard for or violation of the rights of others.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
sleep deprivation
I am having troubles again.
I can't sleep.
I just want to scream
I want to cry.
And all I get to do is lay there with my eyes wide open and stare up at the ceiling! WHAT THE FUCK CAN I DO??!!!Monday, May 10, 2010
pics
Don't call me morbid. It's the love and trust from my LORD that I so desire.
My wants and my fears hold me against my will.
I have nightmares, which has in fact gotten worse.
I wonder what it would be like to be a little girl so innocent and sweet. To grow up without the hurtful world at her heels.
Without the demands of those around her.
Without the soften images that she would be allowed to see on the tv.
I wonder what it's like to hold my head up with pride.
I wonder what it's like not to be conformed to this world.
I wonder what it feels like to be "normal"
I wonder how it is to have a nice and serene life...
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